Back To School Night

So last night was back to school night for the oldest. I guess I need to think up names for all of them huh. I've seen some cute stuff like Hansel and Gretel but I think I'll keep it simple... oldest will be 9k, he's the boy. then there is 6K, girl. and 3K, girl. Luckily I never have to worry about the ex stumbling on this...doesn't even own a computer, much less know how to use one. Hell, 3K is obsessed with the song From Yesterday by 30 Seconds to Mars and her mom thought when she was asking to hear Yesterday she meant the beatles...lol...contemporary music escapes her.



Anywho, like I said, last night was back to school night for 9k, so I went, along with my fiance and the ex. It was funny because here are all just these mom's and a few dads, (most of them a good 10-20 years older than me) I don't think there were any couples, just one parent from each household. And then theres us, not just one, but three! The teachers greeted me and I'm sure they were about to say, "The kindergartners room is over that way!" Because there is no way anyone would ever think I was old enough to have a 4th or 5th grader. But my fiance stepped in and rescued me, loudly introducing me as his fiance. It was funny, the teacher going "oh you must be 9k's mom! to the ex because she was sitting in his seat, and she goes yes! then she looks at my fiance and he introduces him self as 9k's dad sitting in someone elses seat next to 9k's and then she curiously looks at me, considering, I believe we are about the same age, and goes, "heeelllllllooooo?" Thank god my fiance is proactive. There was a quiz on how well you know your 4th/5th grader and so the three of us are all trying to answer the questions and we all got one right I think. One of the questions was 'what would your child wish for if they could have anything?' and my fiance goes, a motocross bike, and ex goes, 'oh you know it doesn't have to be material, he could wish for something else! yooou know!' while looking at my fiance with big eyes. and all I could think was omg what a beeeyoch to say that in front of me, and I hoped hoped HOPED he hadn't written he wished his mom and dad would get back together even tho I know that is a common childhood wish of divorced kids. So I went to get his answers next to his picture on the wall, and he had wished for a Lamborghini with nitrous. ahhh good boy. lol.

So I spend the next half hour explaining to each of them what learning point is and how to use a computer to access it. Not that it matters, since she doesn't have a computer and all my fiance knows how to do is check his e-mail and play poker. *sigh* Technology is SO wasted on the old.

Well, I get to do this all over again in two weeks for 6k. I would love to help in their classrooms since I have a really flexible schedule, but I don't know the rules/etiquette on that. Since I'm not legally their step mom yet and I'm not sure if that is solely 'biomom only' territory. I know she doesn't have the time/want to work in their classrooms, since she didn't fill out the volunteer forms... and scoffed when the teacher asked about it...if anyone reads this, lemme know what you think! Is that out of line? It's something I would love to do. I am in school to become a teacher anyways.

Another interesting point. I was reading some bridal magazine while lying on the beach with my man yesterday, and it said 48% of women wish they could take a hiatus from work to plan their weddings full time. I feel soooo lucky to have a job (that I La-La-Looove) where I have a lot of down time. I'm a nanny. :) I know aren't you jealous. I work for three families, all of which have two kids. So in addition to having three wonderful step children who love me, I have six wonderful kids I watch that are sweet as cherry pie and love me too! I'm wwucky I nnnooo (as the three year olds would say)

Entering the life of a childless weekend stepmom

I prefer the term bonus mom, but people kinda look at you funny until you say, "I am their step-mom" and then that ah-ha moment crosses their face followed by the 'look' from the 9 year old to me, assessing we look more like brother and sister than step mom and step son. This is entirely probable since my youngest sibling is a year younger than my soon-to-be step son. Hey, it's not my fault he went from a woman old enough to be MY mother, to someone too young to be a biomom to a 9 year old. Since my fiance proposed I've been reading all these blogs from great step moms and have really enjoyed them. Many, many of them made me thankful for my situation, and a few made me want to call the ex-wife and personally thank her for not being like some of these evil EVVVVIL witches I've read about. (I couldn't bring myself to do it though.)

So, a little about me.

I'm 22, engaged to a man 10 years older than myself who has 3 wonderful children. I am blessed in the fact they love me very very much and I fully return the sentiments. They are 3, 6, and 9. I've read so many horror stories about stepmoms that dislike/barely tolerate or even dispise their step kids. I couldn't imagine feeling that way and WANTING to go through with the wedding! I would make like a bandit, if that were me...but luckily it is not. As far as ex-wives go, his isn't the worst, actually I think she could take a pretty high score compared with most of the ones I've read about. She doesn't hate me, doesn't say things to make the kids feel bad for loving me, doesn't alienate the kids from their dad and recognizes I'm not trying to take her place. I always want to be seen as a trusted adult who is still young enough to play. Mostly since their mom is so old she doesn't get very physical with them, so I make it a point to play with them in the pool, on the floor or where ever, and watch the boy skateboard/bike with enthusiasm. I don't want to do things she does with them because, A) they would compare activity with Mom vs activity with me maybe causing some guilt about having fun with me too (which I NEVER want) B) if I were the ex I would feel threatened and C) I'm simply not her. I am however sure to enforce that I am an adult that needs to be treated with respect and dignity, and I will treat them the same. I have rules that are enforced in my house that aren't in hers. Baths every night, clean clothes every day, hair and teeth get brushed after bath, no TV when there is something to do outside, no junk food and no whining. Luckily disapline is not an issue with my fiance, I don't have to go running to him everytime they misbehave or don't listen. We took it very slow though, for the first few months of us being together and all of us hanging out I was just someone cool to play with. Any issues I let him handle it and kept my mouth shut. After a few months I would say little things, and when we moved in together we went over our house rules and he made it very clear that this was my house too and I am to be heeded. There haven't been any big fights with, "you're not my mother you can't tell me what to do!" like I'm sure I will encounter during those *shudder* dreaded teenage years...

Anyways, I am an optomisitic (aka CrAzY) person and I just hope to add to the wonderful collection of blogs out there about being a step mom, because damnit, there need to be more!