Hey everyone! The wedding was beautiful, just wonderful, fantastic, everything I could have dreamed and more! Our honeymoon was out of this world as well! I can't wait to post wedding pictures, since we're married now I don't care if I put pictures up or not. :) Things have been going well on the step-mom front as well. 9K decided that he is going to call me mom, permanently. He told C he was tired of calling me K. :) The girls are still indecisive, but that is something they know is totally up to them. I hope everyone is faring well, as we get back from summer vacations and head into a new school year. I think I'm going to join PTA this year. :) C and I have decided to wait till our one year anniversary (which we are spending in Jamaica) and when we get back he is getting a reversal and we are going to start trying to have a baby of our own! (YAY!) Other than that things are going as good as can be expected. The Ex is still insane, and dying of bitterness. Oh well...I pray everyday for her. That's all I can do. I put her in God's hands because he is the only one who knows her heart.
Best to all of you, and next time I post it will be with wedding pictures!!!
-K
Monday, August 4, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
How to Deal When the Ex Hurts Your Feelings
So I have the entire month of July off for vacation. I chose, through my own good willed nature, to watch all 3 kids the first 3 weeks of July. This is also the last 3 weeks before my wedding. Today I sent the Ex the schedule for July. I am one of those people that likes things planned, and so I am doing a three week "summer school" with the kids. I am planning small activities every day, and a big trip once every week. (zoo, water park, etc.) Well, she said okay to my schedule but then went back and texted me saying she wants them "here and there" but not on the weekends. I asked her (very politely) to let me know what 'here and there' is, since I am setting up a packed schedule. ( I refuse to hear even one, "I'm bored!") She then texts me back and says, "Well, they are my kids REMEMBER?" Well that was rude. Most of the time I would reply, quite snidely, that oh, I seem to have let that slip my mind and she can forget about even calling me for a week. But instead, mostly probably due to the fact I was in church, I messaged her back saying, 'just let me know so I don't plan things on the days you want them.' I then sat back, took a deep breath, and sent her this: "When you say things like if I remember whose kids they are, it really hurts my feelings. I chose to use my vacation to help you and C. I want to feel like what I do is appreciated. If you don't appreciate it, or want to act like it at least, I don't have to do it. I have 10 million other things I could do instead." and believe it or not, she actually said she knew and was sorry! It was the most civil exchange of remarks-hurt feelings-apology we have ever had. I took a deep breath and felt much better since I voiced myself and she apologized. It was hard for me to take the high road and do that instead of being rude back, but honestly it made me feel a lot more at peace than when I sink to her level. That usually just pisses away my whole day. So, Yay for me! :)
On a precious note; 4K had decided my dad's name is "Bug-Killer-Man". She can't seem to remember his name is Tom, and he kills any bugs she sees at their house, hence the name. We were at the pool and there was a tiny bug floating in the water and neither I nor C would get it out for her so she sat on the wall, grumbling, "I wish Bug-Killer-Man was here. He would get the bug out for me. I wish he was here." It's so cute. My dad just adores her too. I love watching him with the kids, especially 4K, and then envisioning him with his biological grand kids. That is going to be so fun! One more year!!!!! Did I mention that? I can't remember if I did. Next year, for C my one year anniversary we are going to Sandals in Jamaica and when we get back he gets unfixed and we are going to try to have a baby! (funfunfunfunfun) Anyways....
My house is a mess from the tornado of kids through it over the weekend, my hair is probably turning green as I type, and my eyes are drooping. The house is going to have to wait, a shower, dinner and bed sound like the plan. :)
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
On a precious note; 4K had decided my dad's name is "Bug-Killer-Man". She can't seem to remember his name is Tom, and he kills any bugs she sees at their house, hence the name. We were at the pool and there was a tiny bug floating in the water and neither I nor C would get it out for her so she sat on the wall, grumbling, "I wish Bug-Killer-Man was here. He would get the bug out for me. I wish he was here." It's so cute. My dad just adores her too. I love watching him with the kids, especially 4K, and then envisioning him with his biological grand kids. That is going to be so fun! One more year!!!!! Did I mention that? I can't remember if I did. Next year, for C my one year anniversary we are going to Sandals in Jamaica and when we get back he gets unfixed and we are going to try to have a baby! (funfunfunfunfun) Anyways....
My house is a mess from the tornado of kids through it over the weekend, my hair is probably turning green as I type, and my eyes are drooping. The house is going to have to wait, a shower, dinner and bed sound like the plan. :)
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
yay :)
I was so happy to see that people still swing by here. Thank you all for your comments. I really do appreciate them!! Things have been going better since I said, No More! and I'm able to take a deep breath and not fantasize about beating the living daylights out of her. I tried to talk to her to figure out a solution, but that went no where fast. We haven't talked since. C has completely stopped answering her phone calls, and she is texting to have the kids call her. I think this is going to work out okay. The only problem is now she is holding it all in until she sees us. When C dropped 9K off at school yesterday she was there at the same time dropping the girls off and apparantly they got into a screaming match in the school parking lot. :P Classy on both their parts. Oh well. At least I didn't have to witness it. She told me I was being a control freak because I don't want her calling all hours of the day to whine and bitch at us. Uh-huh...riiiiiiiight. Anyways!
New News-I am trying to get a work-from-home job with about.com writing articles. How snazzy would that be? 2 articles a month and updating a blog 3 times a week. Sounds like fun to me. :) Well, wish me luck and thank you, Mister M, Lacey and clever girl for your comments. That's what makes it so worth writing. :)
Nothin but love,
K
New News-I am trying to get a work-from-home job with about.com writing articles. How snazzy would that be? 2 articles a month and updating a blog 3 times a week. Sounds like fun to me. :) Well, wish me luck and thank you, Mister M, Lacey and clever girl for your comments. That's what makes it so worth writing. :)
Nothin but love,
K
Monday, May 19, 2008
How have I survived?
Wow. I can't believe it has been 2 months since I have come to my favorite resting spot. No wonder I'm frazzled and at my wits end. Things have gone so downhill guys; I don't even know where to start. Well, how about we start with the positive? :) That always makes me happy. My wedding has been moved up to July 19th, so needless to say I've spent every waking moment, sleeping moment and zombie-in-between moments thinking and planning. My parents have been excellent with the kids, and my first Mother's Day made me cry tears of happiness. 9K made me a jewelry box he painted all by himself, 8K made me a picture frame she painted all by herself and 4K made me a necklace and bracelet set all by herself. C, my most wonderful and thoughtful fiancé took them to the crafts store and let them all pick out what they wanted to make me. It was really great.
Now onto the 'not-so-great' part. The ex, whom at one point, (if any one person has read my blog in its entirety..I'm sorry.) was phrased by me to be a sane and functional person, although rather neglectful of personal hygiene. Since we announced our new wedding date? She has gone full-blown postal. Our entire lives revolve around 'ex-management'. I had a breaking point last night where I just said, "I can't live like this! Where are we, and how did we come to be here?" She was merely a nuisance before. She was just an annoying fly buzzing around my peripheral vision but now she is a wasp attacking my face. Her calls have been on an upward spiral from anywhere between once to five times a night. She is guilt-tripping the kids for giving me mothers day presents. She is telling 9K he has anxiety attacks because he gets short of breath sometimes. She told him he is going to die if he eats candy. I wouldn't be surprised if she CAUSED him to have an anxiety attack. 9K feels and sees the new tension between his mommy dearest and I, and I think it is causing him pain. I just don't know what to do. I smile and put on a happy face when I just want to punch her square in the mouth. It's so stressful. I'm sure most of you have to deal with this day in and day out and I'm sure I sound like I'm whining. Which I am. heh. At least I still have my sense of humor, right? So I tried to talk to C about it today, but unfortunately K and word-speaking-good don’t go together so well. I guess it came out that I don’t want the kids around because our lives revolve around this, when that just doesn’t sound like what I’m trying to say. I don't know how to say what it is I feel. I just want C to myself for like, 2 seconds. Example: We had dinner with both of our parents last week. It was wonderful right up until she called to yell about something. He excused himself from the table and went outside to talk to her and I was left to fill the awkward gap for 15 minutes until I went out and got him and told him to get off the phone that instant. I can't even have one dinner without being rudely reminded she exists. If he doesn't answer the phone she flips and starts calling both of us alternately. So I enacted a rule today. She can call, leave a message and if she wants to talk to 9K, he will call her back, otherwise she can leave it in the message whatever is on her mind that stupid second. What do you think? Is it too much? Not enough? Should I build a fort of pillows and blankets around me with crayon drawn pictures of "no ex's allowed"? I feel so trapped. Its got me clawing at the celing. I hope people still stop by here, even if it's been months since I've written. I need advice! Lemme know what ya'll think.
Grumpy in her fort,
K
Now onto the 'not-so-great' part. The ex, whom at one point, (if any one person has read my blog in its entirety..I'm sorry.) was phrased by me to be a sane and functional person, although rather neglectful of personal hygiene. Since we announced our new wedding date? She has gone full-blown postal. Our entire lives revolve around 'ex-management'. I had a breaking point last night where I just said, "I can't live like this! Where are we, and how did we come to be here?" She was merely a nuisance before. She was just an annoying fly buzzing around my peripheral vision but now she is a wasp attacking my face. Her calls have been on an upward spiral from anywhere between once to five times a night. She is guilt-tripping the kids for giving me mothers day presents. She is telling 9K he has anxiety attacks because he gets short of breath sometimes. She told him he is going to die if he eats candy. I wouldn't be surprised if she CAUSED him to have an anxiety attack. 9K feels and sees the new tension between his mommy dearest and I, and I think it is causing him pain. I just don't know what to do. I smile and put on a happy face when I just want to punch her square in the mouth. It's so stressful. I'm sure most of you have to deal with this day in and day out and I'm sure I sound like I'm whining. Which I am. heh. At least I still have my sense of humor, right? So I tried to talk to C about it today, but unfortunately K and word-speaking-good don’t go together so well. I guess it came out that I don’t want the kids around because our lives revolve around this, when that just doesn’t sound like what I’m trying to say. I don't know how to say what it is I feel. I just want C to myself for like, 2 seconds. Example: We had dinner with both of our parents last week. It was wonderful right up until she called to yell about something. He excused himself from the table and went outside to talk to her and I was left to fill the awkward gap for 15 minutes until I went out and got him and told him to get off the phone that instant. I can't even have one dinner without being rudely reminded she exists. If he doesn't answer the phone she flips and starts calling both of us alternately. So I enacted a rule today. She can call, leave a message and if she wants to talk to 9K, he will call her back, otherwise she can leave it in the message whatever is on her mind that stupid second. What do you think? Is it too much? Not enough? Should I build a fort of pillows and blankets around me with crayon drawn pictures of "no ex's allowed"? I feel so trapped. Its got me clawing at the celing. I hope people still stop by here, even if it's been months since I've written. I need advice! Lemme know what ya'll think.
Grumpy in her fort,
K
Friday, March 21, 2008
9K...isn't it always?
So I have this week and next off from work because it's spring break for the school district here. Today I have 4K all day, and we have had a great time coloring eggs and hanging out with Princess (my 9 year old sister) 4K looks up to her so much! It's precious...
Well, 9K is at his grandparents house today, even though it is not their spring break yet. He was suspended from school yesterday afternoon and today. I guess from what I can gather, 9K has been hanging out with this boy Alan, and Alan was expelled from his last school and is new there. He is not in 9K's class, but they see eachother afterschool and recess and walk to ESS together. Well I guess yesterday the boy Alan tried to get 9K and another boy to go beat up some kid. From what 9K told me him and the other boy told Alan no, but stood by while Alan threatened this kid. The kid told on all three of them and they all got suspended. This is his first offence and I honestly believe he wouldn't threaten another kid. He likes littler kids, he likes to help with them and never ever picks on them. Right now 9K is quaking in his boots of facing his dad this evening because he knows how his dad feels about that. Unhappy. :P
Well, 9K is at his grandparents house today, even though it is not their spring break yet. He was suspended from school yesterday afternoon and today. I guess from what I can gather, 9K has been hanging out with this boy Alan, and Alan was expelled from his last school and is new there. He is not in 9K's class, but they see eachother afterschool and recess and walk to ESS together. Well I guess yesterday the boy Alan tried to get 9K and another boy to go beat up some kid. From what 9K told me him and the other boy told Alan no, but stood by while Alan threatened this kid. The kid told on all three of them and they all got suspended. This is his first offence and I honestly believe he wouldn't threaten another kid. He likes littler kids, he likes to help with them and never ever picks on them. Right now 9K is quaking in his boots of facing his dad this evening because he knows how his dad feels about that. Unhappy. :P
Monday, March 3, 2008
testing
I hate testing. That's all. I hope everyone is having a good Monday. We are working on the writing proficiency test for tomorrow. Pray 9K does well :)
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Why I love you
9K this is for you.
My dearest son,
You recently asked me how it was different because Dad was adopted and I explained to you that it was a lot like our relationship. I didn't birth you, heck, I didn't even know you the first 7 years of your life. But now? We are family, and I love you just as much as if I had done both those things. I love you because you run up and hug me in front of your friends. I love you because you challenge me. I love you because you look at me and just smile. I love you because when you heard me tease your dad that I would kill him if he cheated on me, you opted in that you would kill him too. I love that you get me and my sense of humor. I love that you never let an hour pass without reminding me that you love me. I love that you sing alicia keyes and sean kingston outloud in the car, especially alicia keyes. I love that you ask me if a random band or artist 'loves the Lord' because they say his name in their songs. I love that you care about things like that, and you love your Lord God above all others. I love that you want to be physically near me at an age most boys are starting to push away a little bit. I love that you watch out for me, and I know you would stick up for me if you thought someone would hurt me. You're such a protective soul just like your dad. I even love that you're making it hard for me to write this because you want to sit next me. :) I love that you want every thing explained to you because you want to understand even if makes you mad. I love it when you cook with me in the kitchen. You made me smile this morning when you thought I was still sleeping because you told your dad you wanted to make earrings for me out of your broken necklace that you loved so much. I laid there and just smiled and felt like my heart would explode inside my chest. I love that as I'm writing this there are tears in my eyes because I never knew I could love a child that wasn't biologically mine this much. In the car today you said I love you and I said I love you more and you told me that was impossible. I love cheering for you at your soccer games and that you don't mind I call you baby. I love that when I say I haven't gotten my hugs and kisses yet today you wrap your arms around me and let me kiss your cheek. I love that when I was in your class observing, everyone called me your mom and you didn't correct them. I love that in your penpal letter you called me mom and now and then you call out mom when you need me. Because I am. I will always be a mom to you. I will always love you as my son. I will consider your children my grandchildren. I don't care if people think that's weird or that I'm 'taking you away' from your biological mother because I'm not. I've never asked you to love me more, or told you what you can and cannot call me. I've always let you come to me. And you've choosen to come. I will forever be thankful for that. I love that you try to think of my feelings, and care how I'm doing. I love when you ask me questions. I love that you look up to me because I'm in college and you want to work really hard in school to go to college too. I love that you want to go everywhere with me. I'm so proud of you honey, you mean the world to me and I couldn't have asked God to bring a better son into my life. I love that you ask when I'm going to have a baby at least once a week. I'm so glad you see that as a good thing. You never fail to make me smile and laugh every day I spend with you. You are so handsome and smart, just like your dad, and I can't help but beam every time I think about what a wonderful man you're going to be someday. I love you more than life itself and always will...
Always and forever,
mom, K, ya know that lady you live with ;)
My dearest son,
You recently asked me how it was different because Dad was adopted and I explained to you that it was a lot like our relationship. I didn't birth you, heck, I didn't even know you the first 7 years of your life. But now? We are family, and I love you just as much as if I had done both those things. I love you because you run up and hug me in front of your friends. I love you because you challenge me. I love you because you look at me and just smile. I love you because when you heard me tease your dad that I would kill him if he cheated on me, you opted in that you would kill him too. I love that you get me and my sense of humor. I love that you never let an hour pass without reminding me that you love me. I love that you sing alicia keyes and sean kingston outloud in the car, especially alicia keyes. I love that you ask me if a random band or artist 'loves the Lord' because they say his name in their songs. I love that you care about things like that, and you love your Lord God above all others. I love that you want to be physically near me at an age most boys are starting to push away a little bit. I love that you watch out for me, and I know you would stick up for me if you thought someone would hurt me. You're such a protective soul just like your dad. I even love that you're making it hard for me to write this because you want to sit next me. :) I love that you want every thing explained to you because you want to understand even if makes you mad. I love it when you cook with me in the kitchen. You made me smile this morning when you thought I was still sleeping because you told your dad you wanted to make earrings for me out of your broken necklace that you loved so much. I laid there and just smiled and felt like my heart would explode inside my chest. I love that as I'm writing this there are tears in my eyes because I never knew I could love a child that wasn't biologically mine this much. In the car today you said I love you and I said I love you more and you told me that was impossible. I love cheering for you at your soccer games and that you don't mind I call you baby. I love that when I say I haven't gotten my hugs and kisses yet today you wrap your arms around me and let me kiss your cheek. I love that when I was in your class observing, everyone called me your mom and you didn't correct them. I love that in your penpal letter you called me mom and now and then you call out mom when you need me. Because I am. I will always be a mom to you. I will always love you as my son. I will consider your children my grandchildren. I don't care if people think that's weird or that I'm 'taking you away' from your biological mother because I'm not. I've never asked you to love me more, or told you what you can and cannot call me. I've always let you come to me. And you've choosen to come. I will forever be thankful for that. I love that you try to think of my feelings, and care how I'm doing. I love when you ask me questions. I love that you look up to me because I'm in college and you want to work really hard in school to go to college too. I love that you want to go everywhere with me. I'm so proud of you honey, you mean the world to me and I couldn't have asked God to bring a better son into my life. I love that you ask when I'm going to have a baby at least once a week. I'm so glad you see that as a good thing. You never fail to make me smile and laugh every day I spend with you. You are so handsome and smart, just like your dad, and I can't help but beam every time I think about what a wonderful man you're going to be someday. I love you more than life itself and always will...
Always and forever,
mom, K, ya know that lady you live with ;)
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