Phew! I know it's been a while since I had TWOOOO seconds to sit down and write something on here. So much to say!
First off: 4K had a great birthday! C and I went on a hunt for the perfect pinata and found one at a mexican party store for 9.99 that I could have easily smuggled myself across the border inside. (I *think* that might just be the way they are doin it now! haha JK) Thank god for living in California. Cheap pinatas, cheap fantastic mexican food...yum. Anyways! We did a Princess birthday (mostly Cinderella. Evil step mom. Go figure) and she loved it. It was a blast.
I wrote my first child support check. It made me really reallllly unhappy. But I did it, and I pictured the chillins eating good food for once. HAHAHA yeah right!
I applied for a job (and interviewed) working with a dance company for kids as a teacher. It's totally me! I'm way exicted.
I am quitting my Tues. Thurs. nanny job ASAP. Perhaps it's because I find her attitude about paying me to be, ooh, lackadaisical at best, or maybe it's because her house is filthy and I don't get thanked for cleaning it, or if I read a book while the kids play I get told that "she sees a lot of slack" and that the kids "honestly" tell her what they do everyday...(riiiight) and there are never any toys out when she gets home...(uh huuuh) So this is how their conversation goes I'm sure, "So my precious daughter and son --that I treat like crap and that don't respect me enough to spit on the ground I walk on--what did you do today with Miss K?" "nothing." "Oh nothing at all??--not that I should care because when I'm home I just scream and tell you to go watch Pearl Harbor movies--"well, Miss K read a book" says Aidyn. 'OOOH REALLY' says Crazy Mom, and next thing you know I'm getting reamed.
When, if she EVER asked ME, I would say, "Well we set up a play date with another three year old down the street. he came over and we all sat at the table playing playdoh and race cars in which I made about 200 "roads" out of play doh again and again. Then we had a snack, and cleaned up the play doh. We got our shoes and socks on, put together a whole bunch of sand toys and walked to the park. I helped each child across the monkey bars so many times people would have thought my shirt was supposed to be covered in shoe prints. We had another snack and some Gatorade, built a castle in the sand, chased bugs and...OMG Miss K read a book! while they played a game they made up, a game that didn't include me. Why was she so keen on remembering the book? Maybe because I told her I really liked it. That reading is important. That we can read a book when we get back. Who knows? Back at the house I again was asked to make 'roads' again and again and again for the hot wheels to be smashed into. Little friend goes home, brother comes home from Kindergarten with neighbor and I give Aidyn lunch, and next thing you show up. (This was just an 8-1 day!) You know why asking me would be a better choice? Maaaybe it's because I have a longer attention span and larger memory capacity than a three year old. JUST maybe.
That's like saying, there are no dishes in the sink...did the kids eat?! Yes, but -lo and behold- I am one of those thoughtful people on this planet. I clean UP after the children I watch. Sooo needless to say, Tuesday I didn't clean a damned thing. Nothing. Nada. The house looked exactly like it did when I got there. Trashed. And I left it that way. Then, I once again didn't get paid. Foul, evil, woman. A quick note to all the moms out there...KEEP YOUR NANNY/BABYSITTER HAPPY! The people that are prompt, (if you say you will be home by 10, don't call at 10:15 and say you'll be there in an hour, we have lives too.) pay well, (an extra 5 bucks here and there) and take the time to be nice, receive the best childcare. No one means to take it out on the kids when the parents suck, but it happens sometimes. I know there are Tues and Thurs where I just pop in a movie because, I'm -so- not getting paid enough to do everything that needs to be done around there.
Enough griping. Once I figure out how to use the scanner I have the cutest drawing 7K did for me last week. Yep. It says "I love you new step mom" :D
Yes, I know, I rule.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Weekend
This past weekend was our weekend, but on Friday C and I got in an argument, so I didn't see the kids at all on Saturday...which I felt kinda guilty but kind of good about. I have a way younger sister, she is almost 9 and I feel constant guilt about not spending enough time with her. So like any person who feels guilty about time with a kid, I spoil her rotten. So instead of spending my weekend with my future step kids every other week like I usually do, I spent it with her. I went to watch her cheer with Pop Warner, then went with my mom shopping and got a pedi, then that evening I took Princess to see The Nanny Diaries. It was relaxing. It was fun. I didn't have to act like a parent at all. I got to be the me I know better than this new K. The one who is 'stepping' into a role she doesn't quite have the full swing of yet. I got to mess around, buy and eat way too much candy and soda. Get Starbucks at almost 10 and then head home to eat yet more popcorn, throw bedtime out the window and watch Monster House till midnight. Laughing and breaking the rules. Then our parents got home, and they got to be the parents. They said "Bedtime, Princess. Make sure to brush your teeth. (5 minutes later) Princess we said now!" *sigh* it felt great to sit back and just be the sister. Revered, and stable in my position. My nuclear family is very concrete. Everyone knows their place. There's my dad. He is the hard working, all American dream guy. He has the beautiful wife, three beautiful kids and the house and toys to show for a powerful VP who hates his job. Book smart. Then there's my mom. Beautiful, I mean stunningly gorgeous. Stay at home mom. Backbone of our family. Doesn't have a clue how pretty she is. Shops at Loehmens but you would think she shopped at Saks or Neimens. Street smart. Then me, the eldest daughter, the first born. Headstrong, independent, leader, powerful, but too logical, emotionally cut off and a perfectionist. I never got caught doing most of the bad things I did when I was a teenager, went through a relatively short rebel stage but for the most part, did what I pleased and was allowed to do so because I was, "responsible." Book smart. Next is my brother, Athletic. He is kind and loving. The kind of kid who grows up wanting a family instead of a crazy job. Struggles with school. He is almost 18 but for some reason isn't allowed to do much of anything. And he's a good kid. Barely ever drinks or smokes out, captain of his football team, tries (somewhat) hard in school. Has good friends and a fantastic girlfriend. ( I soooo hope they get married) He kinda takes the brunt of everything. For one reason or another, it's usually his fault. He gets called, "the boy" a lot. Street smart. And last but certainly not least is my sister, the Princess. She is the absolute baby. She is the child I love dearly but could never handle being my own. She is a follower, the meek and mildest little mouse. As my sister I can stand back and appreciate all the finer aspects and makings of this type of personality. I can also see how she became that way. (I mean 4 other way older leaders in the house what option did she have really!) It's beautiful how graciously she bows to others wants and needs forsaking her own. She's humble even though we all spoil her rotten. She thinks before she speaks so as to never say anything hurtful. She hates fighting and confrontation. She would rather be bullied than say anything mean back. (The closest I ever got to beating the tar out of a 6 year old.) As my own child I would push her, I know. I would say, stand up for yourself! Hit back! It's an eye for an eye! But as my sister I can comfort her and love her and nurture this sweet side I don't have in myself. (And beat the tar out of anyone teasing her) She is my mini-me in looks, but in personality she is my opposite.
I know this is random but I believe when you move from one station in life, (college student, living a home, sibling, independent) to another, (working full time, living with someone, step mom to 3, less independence) you really need to sit back and sift through your past. Sift through who you are as a person and see how you can apply current knowledge to future experiences. So that's what I'm doing. I'm looking at my nuclear family's stability and positions and seeing how I can build the same stability in my new family. Even though it is a completely different set of people, I can find similarities that will help me, like corner stones. It's odd to shift into a different position in a family. One day I'm a future wife/step mom and next I'm just a big sister...
I know this is random but I believe when you move from one station in life, (college student, living a home, sibling, independent) to another, (working full time, living with someone, step mom to 3, less independence) you really need to sit back and sift through your past. Sift through who you are as a person and see how you can apply current knowledge to future experiences. So that's what I'm doing. I'm looking at my nuclear family's stability and positions and seeing how I can build the same stability in my new family. Even though it is a completely different set of people, I can find similarities that will help me, like corner stones. It's odd to shift into a different position in a family. One day I'm a future wife/step mom and next I'm just a big sister...
Monday, September 10, 2007
9K and school
There is a lot going on right now between wedding planning/finances, but it's little things like what happened today that make me step back and realize how lucky I am. (Even if we're flat broke dealing with a repossessed car)
The ex called C today, and asked if I would be interested in attending the parent-teacher conference with her. Me. Not him. Me. 9K has a really hard time with school, and C doesn't help because he hates school and quit high school half way thru his sophomore year. He supports my ambitions to be a teacher saying if he had a teacher like me he probably would have done better. ;) I wish he would support his son in school a little more, helping him with homework etc. but he gets SO frustrated that he usually just avoids it. The ex works full time, and I guess just kinda crashes on the couch with a bottle of wine when she gets home and she doesn't do much either. So today I found out that if he doesn't improve drastically this year he is going to be held back and have to repeat 4th grade.
I think that is amazing that she wants me to go. She knows how enthusiastic I am about early education and I would LOOOOOVE to help 9K do better.
She earned some high marking points on this one. Or maybe she just wants to get me alone and poison me or something. lol. I could take her in a fight. It wouldn't even be fair. haha, just getting prepared!
But yeah, it's little things like that...her showing a thoughtfulness I didn't expect, it's one more step to successful co-parenting on this rough and tumble path. It makes me realize that in the big picture, we are doing alright. Our little family is stumbling, but at least we're stumbling forward. Now if we could just win the Lotto....
Tonight C and I went for drinks with friends of mine, and an acquaintance was there, and so we chatted and I asked how work was going, and she tells me that she's not working. I knew she worked for her family's business and so I asked what happened, and she tells me they are shut down! This company was about a 15 million dollar company and was doing very well, and she goes on to tell me that her father hired old old family friends, 2 guys, and they embezzled 3.5 million dollars in liquid assets. (cash) Her family lost everything. Her collage fund, their house, their cars, the business. Everything. They had to file bankruptcy and if any one's seen the laws that are in effect now for that, you know it's sooo much trickier than it used to be. No more chapter 13. 7 is now really 6. Creditors can trash your credit and come after you for everything you've got. Terrible. I couldn't imagine running a successful business one day, to barely being able to pay rent in a different place...to having nothing.
After C and I left, we looked at each other and I said, "wow honey that really puts our little problem in perspective." We got one of our cars repo'ed because of a bank error and C just started a new job and he can't miss work. Since he has to go job site to job site, I can't just drop him off. His dad (praise God) has lent C his car for last week and this week. I wish my parents were supportive...we have 5 cars between 3 of us that drive. 2 extras that just sit in the circle drive. They would never let that happen though. That's aiding and abetting to them. They are good people, and I love them dearly, but like every parent they never want to see me struggle or be with someone they deem 'less than me' (in other words, from the wrong side of the tracks) More on that later. But anyways, her problems put ours totally in perspective and we both agreed that although it is stressful, we can work it out. Wachovia bank is a BITCH. Just in case you ever thought of dealing with them...don't. They misallocated a 5 thou payment, marking it as a down instead of pre-monthly payments. No phone calls. No letters. Just Mr. Repo-man. *sigh*
On a side note, The baby was sneezing in my face all day, (I swear he waited until I was holding him facing me to sneeze) and now my throat is scratchy and my head is stuffy and I have a bad runny nose. Yippee. I might spend tomorrow working on my book, (did I mention I'm writing a book?) because most people don't want a sick lady taking care of their kids. And it's not exactly like I get sick pay. No show=No money. Oh well, I'll see how I feel in the morning. As for now, I'm eating a big bowl of chicken soup and going to bed.
The ex called C today, and asked if I would be interested in attending the parent-teacher conference with her. Me. Not him. Me. 9K has a really hard time with school, and C doesn't help because he hates school and quit high school half way thru his sophomore year. He supports my ambitions to be a teacher saying if he had a teacher like me he probably would have done better. ;) I wish he would support his son in school a little more, helping him with homework etc. but he gets SO frustrated that he usually just avoids it. The ex works full time, and I guess just kinda crashes on the couch with a bottle of wine when she gets home and she doesn't do much either. So today I found out that if he doesn't improve drastically this year he is going to be held back and have to repeat 4th grade.
I think that is amazing that she wants me to go. She knows how enthusiastic I am about early education and I would LOOOOOVE to help 9K do better.
She earned some high marking points on this one. Or maybe she just wants to get me alone and poison me or something. lol. I could take her in a fight. It wouldn't even be fair. haha, just getting prepared!
But yeah, it's little things like that...her showing a thoughtfulness I didn't expect, it's one more step to successful co-parenting on this rough and tumble path. It makes me realize that in the big picture, we are doing alright. Our little family is stumbling, but at least we're stumbling forward. Now if we could just win the Lotto....
Tonight C and I went for drinks with friends of mine, and an acquaintance was there, and so we chatted and I asked how work was going, and she tells me that she's not working. I knew she worked for her family's business and so I asked what happened, and she tells me they are shut down! This company was about a 15 million dollar company and was doing very well, and she goes on to tell me that her father hired old old family friends, 2 guys, and they embezzled 3.5 million dollars in liquid assets. (cash) Her family lost everything. Her collage fund, their house, their cars, the business. Everything. They had to file bankruptcy and if any one's seen the laws that are in effect now for that, you know it's sooo much trickier than it used to be. No more chapter 13. 7 is now really 6. Creditors can trash your credit and come after you for everything you've got. Terrible. I couldn't imagine running a successful business one day, to barely being able to pay rent in a different place...to having nothing.
After C and I left, we looked at each other and I said, "wow honey that really puts our little problem in perspective." We got one of our cars repo'ed because of a bank error and C just started a new job and he can't miss work. Since he has to go job site to job site, I can't just drop him off. His dad (praise God) has lent C his car for last week and this week. I wish my parents were supportive...we have 5 cars between 3 of us that drive. 2 extras that just sit in the circle drive. They would never let that happen though. That's aiding and abetting to them. They are good people, and I love them dearly, but like every parent they never want to see me struggle or be with someone they deem 'less than me' (in other words, from the wrong side of the tracks) More on that later. But anyways, her problems put ours totally in perspective and we both agreed that although it is stressful, we can work it out. Wachovia bank is a BITCH. Just in case you ever thought of dealing with them...don't. They misallocated a 5 thou payment, marking it as a down instead of pre-monthly payments. No phone calls. No letters. Just Mr. Repo-man. *sigh*
On a side note, The baby was sneezing in my face all day, (I swear he waited until I was holding him facing me to sneeze) and now my throat is scratchy and my head is stuffy and I have a bad runny nose. Yippee. I might spend tomorrow working on my book, (did I mention I'm writing a book?) because most people don't want a sick lady taking care of their kids. And it's not exactly like I get sick pay. No show=No money. Oh well, I'll see how I feel in the morning. As for now, I'm eating a big bowl of chicken soup and going to bed.
Work
This past weekend felt really empty. C and I were sitting in the pool yesterday, and I looked at him and said, "You know, it feels really weird this weekend. Like we should have the kids right now." and he laughed and said, "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean"
I believe I've mentioned that I'm a nanny, but I don't think I've ever really talked about the kids I spend most of my days with. First, I have 2 brothers. 3 and 9 months. I have them 3 days a week. I'll call the 9 month old Lieven, (meaning: Loving friend) because he is just THE sweetest baby lovey munchins. :) The 3 year old I'll call Baldavin (meaning: Bold friend) He is the turkey that if you let out of your sight for-just-one-second he is gone. Off on an adventure all his own. He goes to preschool in the mornings while Lieven and I just relax and play. I enjoy these kids a lot.
The other 2 days of the week are spent with Grant (meaning: Great, Tall) and Aidyn (meaning: Little fire) Grant is 5, he is in kindergarten and is huge. Aidyn is 3, in the same preschool as Baldavin but I watch her on non preschool days. She is a spit fire. I wish we could wait until we know a kids personality to name them. Then the name you give them would really fit well.
There is one other family I watch midweek combined with Lieven and Baldavin.
Lalage (prnounced lah-LAH-yeh meaning: talkative, chatterbox) is 3, and in the same preschool as both Aidyn and Baldavin. Her little brother, Conan (meaning: little wolf hound) is 18 months.
Alright I know that was a lot. Imagine my poor brain, 6 kids plus my 3 step kids, PLUS random ones I watch here and there. lol It's a good thing I like kids huh!
I'm in school to become a teacher, mostly kindergarten/first grade I think. I never would become a teacher if these rules were still in effect!!!
Rules for Teachers in 1915 in the US
1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.
2. You are not to keep company with men.
3. You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. unless attending a school function.
4. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
5. You may not travel beyond city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board.
6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.
7. You may not smoke cigarettes.
8. You may not dress in bright colors.
9. You may under no circumstances dye your hair.
10. You must wear at least two petticoats.
11. Your dresses must not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle.
12. To keep the school room neat and clean, you must:
* sweep the floor at least once daily
* scrub the floor at least once a week with hot, soapy water
* clean the blackboards at least once a day
* start the fire at 7 a.m. so the room will be warm by 8 a.m.
BOOOOORRRING! haha what a crappy profession back in the day. Anyways, I hope everyone has a great week!!
I believe I've mentioned that I'm a nanny, but I don't think I've ever really talked about the kids I spend most of my days with. First, I have 2 brothers. 3 and 9 months. I have them 3 days a week. I'll call the 9 month old Lieven, (meaning: Loving friend) because he is just THE sweetest baby lovey munchins. :) The 3 year old I'll call Baldavin (meaning: Bold friend) He is the turkey that if you let out of your sight for-just-one-second he is gone. Off on an adventure all his own. He goes to preschool in the mornings while Lieven and I just relax and play. I enjoy these kids a lot.
The other 2 days of the week are spent with Grant (meaning: Great, Tall) and Aidyn (meaning: Little fire) Grant is 5, he is in kindergarten and is huge. Aidyn is 3, in the same preschool as Baldavin but I watch her on non preschool days. She is a spit fire. I wish we could wait until we know a kids personality to name them. Then the name you give them would really fit well.
There is one other family I watch midweek combined with Lieven and Baldavin.
Lalage (prnounced lah-LAH-yeh meaning: talkative, chatterbox) is 3, and in the same preschool as both Aidyn and Baldavin. Her little brother, Conan (meaning: little wolf hound) is 18 months.
Alright I know that was a lot. Imagine my poor brain, 6 kids plus my 3 step kids, PLUS random ones I watch here and there. lol It's a good thing I like kids huh!
I'm in school to become a teacher, mostly kindergarten/first grade I think. I never would become a teacher if these rules were still in effect!!!
Rules for Teachers in 1915 in the US
1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.
2. You are not to keep company with men.
3. You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. unless attending a school function.
4. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
5. You may not travel beyond city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board.
6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.
7. You may not smoke cigarettes.
8. You may not dress in bright colors.
9. You may under no circumstances dye your hair.
10. You must wear at least two petticoats.
11. Your dresses must not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle.
12. To keep the school room neat and clean, you must:
* sweep the floor at least once daily
* scrub the floor at least once a week with hot, soapy water
* clean the blackboards at least once a day
* start the fire at 7 a.m. so the room will be warm by 8 a.m.
BOOOOORRRING! haha what a crappy profession back in the day. Anyways, I hope everyone has a great week!!
Friday, September 7, 2007
Being Included Feels Great
So, like I've said previously, I went to back to school night for the boy 2 weeks ago, so last night was back to school night for the *ahem* 7 year old. Yes. I have been calling her 6. But it's not my fault! Her dad said she was 6! From now on out, she will be 7K...lol. 2nd grade was way cute. We walked in, met the teacher whom I believe probably got her credentials when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and proceeded to admire all her 2nd grade art. All her little drawings and stories were cute. We got there before the ex, and she had this one that had 3 pictures, one of her swimming with someone, one of her camping and one of her just standing with 2 other figures under a rainbow. her story to go along with it was "I like going swimming with my mom" (What?! We both said, when the hell does she swim with her?! Later even ex said, I dunno, I really don't ever.) then "I like to camp with my dad and little sister" (Hmmmmpf, fine don't include me or Kyle) and "My family loves me because I get dressed" (huuuh?? none of us got this one.) So the ex gets there and we point out all the art/wall postings we've seen then sit. The ex sits in her seat, luckily there was an empty desk next to it which my fiance squeezed under and I sat in a chair next to him. I sighed, getting ready to endure more weird looks being the youngest there, and feeling bad because I want to volunteer and stuff like that but I just don't know what the etiquette is on that. Well anyways, the ex pulls out a notebook under all the pages where 7K had written a letter. and OMG OMG OMG GUESS WHAT IT SAID!?!! *clearing throat* verbatim. "Dear Mom and Dad and StepMom" I almost stood up and did a dance. This is my first reference from one of them as Stepmom. And in school no doubt! Where other people saw it! I'm not a secret! I thought maybe she would have written my name, but no, I got the pedestal of a pronoun. *yeeeesss!* I almost screamed HA! I DOOOO belong to this family! I. Am. Loved. I sat there with this huge huge huuuuge grin for the whole hour on cloud 9. C squeezed my arm and smiled a lot, knowing how good it made me feel to be included. All warm and fuzzy inside. :) I wanted to rip the page out and keep it. Hehe.
I found my place in this world. And it's right here with my family. I belong. I can't say how good that makes me feel, there are just no words to describe it.
Thank you everyone that has left comments, it's great to feel like people hear me and I'm not alone. I really really appreciate it!!!
I found my place in this world. And it's right here with my family. I belong. I can't say how good that makes me feel, there are just no words to describe it.
Thank you everyone that has left comments, it's great to feel like people hear me and I'm not alone. I really really appreciate it!!!
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Wedding Blues
So I was using this free wedding planner site to organize myself and I went to check it today to revisit my planner/guestlist/budget and...it seems as if its fallen off the face of the internet. :( Can anyone recommend a new one? Or a good wedding planner book?
Thanks!
-K
Thanks!
-K
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Weird terminology
Not much going on since the kids are back with their mom till tomorrow night...just thought of something funny C said this weekend. He asked if 6K and I changed together in the same room, and if she saw me naked. I thought it was a weird question since it wasn't the first time we've changed in the same room, I mean I'm modest, I turn my back and she turns hers, kinda like being in a locker room...but C asks "did she see your ya-ya?" I started laughing hysterically. Did you just say...ya-ya? and I said no, I already had my jeans almost pulled up when she walked in. Why? and he goes, oh you know she is getting so damned observant I'm sure she would run home and ask mommy why she has so much hair there and K doesn't? Then questions about me waving my 'ya-ya' around would come about and blah-de-freakin-blah. I repeat it was an odd question. I just raised my eyebrows and said ew. you just made me think about your ex wife's 'ya-ya'
haha anyways I just find the terminology 'ya-ya' to be hilarious. I've never heard him say that word before, and the 3 year old calls everything under her armpits her butt. no amount of correcting will stop it. I was leaning on the counter to get closer to the mirror to put on make-up and I was leaning on her toothbrush, and she goes "K. Your BUTT is on my toothbrush" lol it was cute.
haha anyways I just find the terminology 'ya-ya' to be hilarious. I've never heard him say that word before, and the 3 year old calls everything under her armpits her butt. no amount of correcting will stop it. I was leaning on the counter to get closer to the mirror to put on make-up and I was leaning on her toothbrush, and she goes "K. Your BUTT is on my toothbrush" lol it was cute.
Monday, September 3, 2007
I love to see 'em come, and I love to watch them go
So for whatever reason, this weekend was kinda hard. We spent friday night, saturday AND all day sunday at the pool. I am amazed my hair is not bright green. I have really long light light blonde hair and (disgusting I know) I have yet to wash it since saturday morning. In my defense I was dragged into the pool time and time again so washing it would have been a waste of time anyways.
Cutest thing this weekend: Little known to me, C has been feeling really bad about what happened before back to school night, (he made the cardinal mistake of asking ME to babysit so him and his ex wife could go) I was so hurt, and I just said, No I'm sorry I can't do that. I'm not their babysitter. I do want to be involved in their lives and if you don't wish for me to go, that's fine, I'll stay home. But I'm not going to babysit on top of it. He apologized and told me that he didn't think I would want to go, (guys are stupid sometimes) but he was stoked that I wanted to and would love to have me come. His mom got so mad when he told her what he had asked me. Ha ha, I guess she reamed him about how rude and disrespectful that was to me. (I'm starting to like this woman) So anyways, yesterday we were being the rebels we are, went down the Welk Resort, snuck the kids and ourselves into their miniature water park and spent the afternoon there. So onto the cutest thing (I know, I dally) 9k asked for C to go down the water slide and he said no, I have to stay here with 3k and 6k. So 9k said, but K can watch the girls! and C (thinking he's putting me in the babysitter position again) says, no, that's not her job, she's not their mom. and 9k says, BUT SHE'S GONNA BE! (cuteeee!!) *sigh* precious. I laughed and later C said, well you know 9k is right, you ARE kinda going to be! Yep. I am.
Later I told C that I don't mind watching the kids in the pool/whenever, it's just when it entails letting you go so your ex can play house with you that I get upset. Not to mention, telling the kids that "that's not my job" may give them the idea that I don't care to watch after them and might just let them drown or something. He then tells me how guilty he's felt since the Back to school incident and doesn't want to put me in that position again. Sweet sweet man. After we get married, I will put up a wonderful photo of all of us. I want to get pictures taken, you know those classy WASP-y one's where everyone's wearing linens and we all look as if we just got back from a wonderful day at the beach. tan and smiling. Obviously anyone that believes that's how you come home from the beach with kids has NEVER been. The whole day it's 'there's sand in my food' 'he threw sand in my eyes!' 'there's sand in my swimmy!' (swimmy=bathing suit or strap on flotation device) The whole day revolves around sand. The drive home is miserable because everyone's tired and sandy, you finally GET home or if you're lucky just drop them off at the ex's (muah-haha) and bath time is a terror because (omg how do they manage to get sand IN EVERY ORIFICE) and then you try and get them to lie down in bed but they are so exhausted they just start making this high pitched, squeaky toy/dying giraffe noise which means 'I want to be downstairs with you.' but you send them back to bed...oor let them lay on the floor downstairs. watching spongebob. (brain-rotting garbage) *ahem* not to say that ever happens at my house. never. ;)
So the ex came to pick them up at 4:30 yesterday...it's the first time I've ever seen her come pick them up. We always do all the picking up/dropping off. I guess she has some indescribable fear of driving...? I think it's more like laziness, but hey...that's just me. I let out a big sigh after they left, and turned to C, who looked back at me so sweetly, and promptly stated, "let's go get drunk!" so we did. and I asked him, now what are you going to do in a few years when WE have kids? He'll be going, when are they getting picked up! and I'll be reminding him they stay with us because they're ours. He then came up with the genius idea of putting them in the ex's car when she picks up HER kids. haha...I can just imagine the phone call. "UMMM...you're kids were in the back row of my car. Again."
~Escaping-ly,
K
Cutest thing this weekend: Little known to me, C has been feeling really bad about what happened before back to school night, (he made the cardinal mistake of asking ME to babysit so him and his ex wife could go) I was so hurt, and I just said, No I'm sorry I can't do that. I'm not their babysitter. I do want to be involved in their lives and if you don't wish for me to go, that's fine, I'll stay home. But I'm not going to babysit on top of it. He apologized and told me that he didn't think I would want to go, (guys are stupid sometimes) but he was stoked that I wanted to and would love to have me come. His mom got so mad when he told her what he had asked me. Ha ha, I guess she reamed him about how rude and disrespectful that was to me. (I'm starting to like this woman) So anyways, yesterday we were being the rebels we are, went down the Welk Resort, snuck the kids and ourselves into their miniature water park and spent the afternoon there. So onto the cutest thing (I know, I dally) 9k asked for C to go down the water slide and he said no, I have to stay here with 3k and 6k. So 9k said, but K can watch the girls! and C (thinking he's putting me in the babysitter position again) says, no, that's not her job, she's not their mom. and 9k says, BUT SHE'S GONNA BE! (cuteeee!!) *sigh* precious. I laughed and later C said, well you know 9k is right, you ARE kinda going to be! Yep. I am.
Later I told C that I don't mind watching the kids in the pool/whenever, it's just when it entails letting you go so your ex can play house with you that I get upset. Not to mention, telling the kids that "that's not my job" may give them the idea that I don't care to watch after them and might just let them drown or something. He then tells me how guilty he's felt since the Back to school incident and doesn't want to put me in that position again. Sweet sweet man. After we get married, I will put up a wonderful photo of all of us. I want to get pictures taken, you know those classy WASP-y one's where everyone's wearing linens and we all look as if we just got back from a wonderful day at the beach. tan and smiling. Obviously anyone that believes that's how you come home from the beach with kids has NEVER been. The whole day it's 'there's sand in my food' 'he threw sand in my eyes!' 'there's sand in my swimmy!' (swimmy=bathing suit or strap on flotation device) The whole day revolves around sand. The drive home is miserable because everyone's tired and sandy, you finally GET home or if you're lucky just drop them off at the ex's (muah-haha) and bath time is a terror because (omg how do they manage to get sand IN EVERY ORIFICE) and then you try and get them to lie down in bed but they are so exhausted they just start making this high pitched, squeaky toy/dying giraffe noise which means 'I want to be downstairs with you.' but you send them back to bed...oor let them lay on the floor downstairs. watching spongebob. (brain-rotting garbage) *ahem* not to say that ever happens at my house. never. ;)
So the ex came to pick them up at 4:30 yesterday...it's the first time I've ever seen her come pick them up. We always do all the picking up/dropping off. I guess she has some indescribable fear of driving...? I think it's more like laziness, but hey...that's just me. I let out a big sigh after they left, and turned to C, who looked back at me so sweetly, and promptly stated, "let's go get drunk!" so we did. and I asked him, now what are you going to do in a few years when WE have kids? He'll be going, when are they getting picked up! and I'll be reminding him they stay with us because they're ours. He then came up with the genius idea of putting them in the ex's car when she picks up HER kids. haha...I can just imagine the phone call. "UMMM...you're kids were in the back row of my car. Again."
~Escaping-ly,
K
Sunday, September 2, 2007
9K and Love
About 2 weeks before C asked me to marry him he had a serious conversation with his 9 year old boy about it. They were sitting in the spa and I was swimming in the pool with the girls. I was sooooo nervous because every now and then I heard my name and I knew they were talking about me I just didn't know what. I was sure he was saying how much he hated me, because for the longest time the girls have said, "I love you K!" and I tell them I love them too, but 9K never really wanted hugs or that kind of attention from me, which of course I respected and just let it be.
I went to talk to C after their chat, and he started crying and I was about to throw up and leave but then he tells me through his tears that he is just sooo happy because his oldest, his son, his little man just told him that he loves me and thinks that if we got married that would be great. C doesn't cry very often. I've only seen it maybe 3 times in the past year. It was very touching, and almost made my heart burst with happiness that 9K actually loves me. Since then 9K has made a point of telling me he loves me, and seeking out physical attention from me. I think maybe before that talk he didn't think it was okay by his dad to do that, or that it was 'wussy' and 'girly'. (He is SUCH a boy. 110% B-O-Y) But whatever it was he thought, it changed that night. It makes my heart skip a beat every time he says he loves me, because I know that isn't a sentiment he shares lightly. He is a lot like his dad in that respect. His emotions are under lock and key. The girls are so cuddly and sweet, they just warmed up right away and within a few months were telling me they loved me. I just never knew what to do with 9K, so I just let him take his own path with me. I never wanted to push emotions on him because that just doesn't work with kids. It backfires on you. It's been a long year, but I'm so glad I chose that path of letting him get to know me and discern for himself his feelings for me. It has made us close. C said it's amazing for him to see that 9K loves me like he does.
It amazes me too.
-Happily in love with the most wonderful 4 people that have ever chanced their ways into my life.
I went to talk to C after their chat, and he started crying and I was about to throw up and leave but then he tells me through his tears that he is just sooo happy because his oldest, his son, his little man just told him that he loves me and thinks that if we got married that would be great. C doesn't cry very often. I've only seen it maybe 3 times in the past year. It was very touching, and almost made my heart burst with happiness that 9K actually loves me. Since then 9K has made a point of telling me he loves me, and seeking out physical attention from me. I think maybe before that talk he didn't think it was okay by his dad to do that, or that it was 'wussy' and 'girly'. (He is SUCH a boy. 110% B-O-Y) But whatever it was he thought, it changed that night. It makes my heart skip a beat every time he says he loves me, because I know that isn't a sentiment he shares lightly. He is a lot like his dad in that respect. His emotions are under lock and key. The girls are so cuddly and sweet, they just warmed up right away and within a few months were telling me they loved me. I just never knew what to do with 9K, so I just let him take his own path with me. I never wanted to push emotions on him because that just doesn't work with kids. It backfires on you. It's been a long year, but I'm so glad I chose that path of letting him get to know me and discern for himself his feelings for me. It has made us close. C said it's amazing for him to see that 9K loves me like he does.
It amazes me too.
-Happily in love with the most wonderful 4 people that have ever chanced their ways into my life.
Reflective Day
So this weekend is our weekend to have the kids. I needed to go to the mall and pick up a pair of Juicy sunglasses, and so we all went. After we were done and we had loaded them into the car, fussing and whining and hot, I looked at my man and said, Oh my god we are insane for wanting to add more kids to this mix! and he started doing the crazy manic "HA HA HA" laugh and said Duh honey! Then we laughed together and I told him I wanted it anyways. :) He is 'fixed' so we can plan when we have kids and do the whole injecting me with spermies thing. *yippie* I've told him before that I really want one of each of my own, and then started harassing him about maybe having twins since we have control of this stuff...and he said he would do it for me.
So I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on these horror ex-wife stories I've read, and one thing I was thinking about today is, I don't know if I could be even an ounce of how classy his ex is if I was in the same position... Imagine, you are married to this man for almost 9 years, have 2 kids with him married and one drunken night oops after the separation, things crash and burn hardcore in the last year mostly because he gets involved with bad people, bad things, and trashes your marriage. Of course there were problems before all of it, but he really does a doozy on ya. He leads this life for the next 3 years, undependable, in and out of jail, until he meets someone 17 years younger than you, after swearing off women/marriage/relationships. He screws things up with the girl too at first, but after almost losing that girl to that world, you watch him go through an amazing transformation, quit drugs, get a steady job... then to top it off he gives this girl the ring his grandpa made for his grandma but gave to him after her death for his true love. A rainbow of stones leading to his 'pot of gold at the end of the rainbow' the ring he never gave to you. you watch as your kids grow so attached to this girl, they cry in the morning because she's not there to do their hair. And yet you holds it all in, letting them love that girl. *sigh* then the kids come in one night when him and this girl drop them off screaming that "Daddy and K are getting married!!!!!" and you smiles thru gritted teeth as they go on and on about how they are going to be in the wedding, and 9K announces that he is going to call the girl mom too.
Believe me...I almost had a heart attack. I'm surprised the ex didn't fall over dead right then. I would have. I would have yelled. I would have screamed, NO! I'm your mom! but she didn't...she just kept her cool. I couldn't imagine having been dragged through hell and back with someone only to see that someone else, even someone so young can inspire and give something to that person you never could. Ugh.
One night my man, I guess I need a name for him too huh...how about just C, (oh and I'm K) :) anyways one night C was having a serious talk with me a few weeks after we had gotten in a HUGEEEE fight and I had left him because I couldn't stand the lying/drugs/fighting anymore, and he sat there and cried and told me I gave him something, sparked something in him she never could. That before me he had just been saying F*** it for so long that he almost did it with us...but he was ready to step up to the plate and get better for me. That was the night he gave me the rainbow ring. He has been proving himself over and over again since that night. He signed up for anger management, got a job, quit all drugs (I know, his job drug tests him every week) and we are working on communication. We have been able to curb our fights before they get out of control, and talk them out. Something that never had happened before. Okay I know this is soooo TMI but it feels good to say I am sooo proud of him because I know that was crazy hard to do. He gave up every friend he had, because in one way or another they were involved in that world. It's amazing the change when the person you fell in love with becomes that person you saw in them all along.
Anyways I believe I've wandered off topic. Mostly I just wanted to give a big cheer to all ex's that handle themselves with class. They do what's best for the kids, even if that means gritting their teeth, and letting them love another mommy figure. That must be incredibly hard. I know I probably couldn't do it. I would always sit there and beat myself up. What does she do/have/say that I don't that made him change for her and not for me? Yeah there is just no way. I told C that if we don't work out after having kids he's screwed because no woman on the planet will go, ooooh a man with 5 kids and 2 ex wives! YES! lol He said it wouldn't matter, because if anything happens with us, he's done. He says God put me here on this earth for him. To show him a different life, a path that leads up instead of towards destruction. To show him that true love is real and soulmates do exist. He never fails to make me smile. :)
So if you are an ex-wife with kids who actually accept and love their new stepmom, and you are classy, I salute you!!!!
That's love boys and girls. That is true love.
So I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on these horror ex-wife stories I've read, and one thing I was thinking about today is, I don't know if I could be even an ounce of how classy his ex is if I was in the same position... Imagine, you are married to this man for almost 9 years, have 2 kids with him married and one drunken night oops after the separation, things crash and burn hardcore in the last year mostly because he gets involved with bad people, bad things, and trashes your marriage. Of course there were problems before all of it, but he really does a doozy on ya. He leads this life for the next 3 years, undependable, in and out of jail, until he meets someone 17 years younger than you, after swearing off women/marriage/relationships. He screws things up with the girl too at first, but after almost losing that girl to that world, you watch him go through an amazing transformation, quit drugs, get a steady job... then to top it off he gives this girl the ring his grandpa made for his grandma but gave to him after her death for his true love. A rainbow of stones leading to his 'pot of gold at the end of the rainbow' the ring he never gave to you. you watch as your kids grow so attached to this girl, they cry in the morning because she's not there to do their hair. And yet you holds it all in, letting them love that girl. *sigh* then the kids come in one night when him and this girl drop them off screaming that "Daddy and K are getting married!!!!!" and you smiles thru gritted teeth as they go on and on about how they are going to be in the wedding, and 9K announces that he is going to call the girl mom too.
Believe me...I almost had a heart attack. I'm surprised the ex didn't fall over dead right then. I would have. I would have yelled. I would have screamed, NO! I'm your mom! but she didn't...she just kept her cool. I couldn't imagine having been dragged through hell and back with someone only to see that someone else, even someone so young can inspire and give something to that person you never could. Ugh.
One night my man, I guess I need a name for him too huh...how about just C, (oh and I'm K) :) anyways one night C was having a serious talk with me a few weeks after we had gotten in a HUGEEEE fight and I had left him because I couldn't stand the lying/drugs/fighting anymore, and he sat there and cried and told me I gave him something, sparked something in him she never could. That before me he had just been saying F*** it for so long that he almost did it with us...but he was ready to step up to the plate and get better for me. That was the night he gave me the rainbow ring. He has been proving himself over and over again since that night. He signed up for anger management, got a job, quit all drugs (I know, his job drug tests him every week) and we are working on communication. We have been able to curb our fights before they get out of control, and talk them out. Something that never had happened before. Okay I know this is soooo TMI but it feels good to say I am sooo proud of him because I know that was crazy hard to do. He gave up every friend he had, because in one way or another they were involved in that world. It's amazing the change when the person you fell in love with becomes that person you saw in them all along.
Anyways I believe I've wandered off topic. Mostly I just wanted to give a big cheer to all ex's that handle themselves with class. They do what's best for the kids, even if that means gritting their teeth, and letting them love another mommy figure. That must be incredibly hard. I know I probably couldn't do it. I would always sit there and beat myself up. What does she do/have/say that I don't that made him change for her and not for me? Yeah there is just no way. I told C that if we don't work out after having kids he's screwed because no woman on the planet will go, ooooh a man with 5 kids and 2 ex wives! YES! lol He said it wouldn't matter, because if anything happens with us, he's done. He says God put me here on this earth for him. To show him a different life, a path that leads up instead of towards destruction. To show him that true love is real and soulmates do exist. He never fails to make me smile. :)
So if you are an ex-wife with kids who actually accept and love their new stepmom, and you are classy, I salute you!!!!
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