Reflective Day

So this weekend is our weekend to have the kids. I needed to go to the mall and pick up a pair of Juicy sunglasses, and so we all went. After we were done and we had loaded them into the car, fussing and whining and hot, I looked at my man and said, Oh my god we are insane for wanting to add more kids to this mix! and he started doing the crazy manic "HA HA HA" laugh and said Duh honey! Then we laughed together and I told him I wanted it anyways. :) He is 'fixed' so we can plan when we have kids and do the whole injecting me with spermies thing. *yippie* I've told him before that I really want one of each of my own, and then started harassing him about maybe having twins since we have control of this stuff...and he said he would do it for me.

That's love boys and girls. That is true love.

So I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on these horror ex-wife stories I've read, and one thing I was thinking about today is, I don't know if I could be even an ounce of how classy his ex is if I was in the same position... Imagine, you are married to this man for almost 9 years, have 2 kids with him married and one drunken night oops after the separation, things crash and burn hardcore in the last year mostly because he gets involved with bad people, bad things, and trashes your marriage. Of course there were problems before all of it, but he really does a doozy on ya. He leads this life for the next 3 years, undependable, in and out of jail, until he meets someone 17 years younger than you, after swearing off women/marriage/relationships. He screws things up with the girl too at first, but after almost losing that girl to that world, you watch him go through an amazing transformation, quit drugs, get a steady job... then to top it off he gives this girl the ring his grandpa made for his grandma but gave to him after her death for his true love. A rainbow of stones leading to his 'pot of gold at the end of the rainbow' the ring he never gave to you. you watch as your kids grow so attached to this girl, they cry in the morning because she's not there to do their hair. And yet you holds it all in, letting them love that girl. *sigh* then the kids come in one night when him and this girl drop them off screaming that "Daddy and K are getting married!!!!!" and you smiles thru gritted teeth as they go on and on about how they are going to be in the wedding, and 9K announces that he is going to call the girl mom too.
Believe me...I almost had a heart attack. I'm surprised the ex didn't fall over dead right then. I would have. I would have yelled. I would have screamed, NO! I'm your mom! but she didn't...she just kept her cool. I couldn't imagine having been dragged through hell and back with someone only to see that someone else, even someone so young can inspire and give something to that person you never could. Ugh.
One night my man, I guess I need a name for him too huh...how about just C, (oh and I'm K) :) anyways one night C was having a serious talk with me a few weeks after we had gotten in a HUGEEEE fight and I had left him because I couldn't stand the lying/drugs/fighting anymore, and he sat there and cried and told me I gave him something, sparked something in him she never could. That before me he had just been saying F*** it for so long that he almost did it with us...but he was ready to step up to the plate and get better for me. That was the night he gave me the rainbow ring. He has been proving himself over and over again since that night. He signed up for anger management, got a job, quit all drugs (I know, his job drug tests him every week) and we are working on communication. We have been able to curb our fights before they get out of control, and talk them out. Something that never had happened before. Okay I know this is soooo TMI but it feels good to say I am sooo proud of him because I know that was crazy hard to do. He gave up every friend he had, because in one way or another they were involved in that world. It's amazing the change when the person you fell in love with becomes that person you saw in them all along.

Anyways I believe I've wandered off topic. Mostly I just wanted to give a big cheer to all ex's that handle themselves with class. They do what's best for the kids, even if that means gritting their teeth, and letting them love another mommy figure. That must be incredibly hard. I know I probably couldn't do it. I would always sit there and beat myself up. What does she do/have/say that I don't that made him change for her and not for me? Yeah there is just no way. I told C that if we don't work out after having kids he's screwed because no woman on the planet will go, ooooh a man with 5 kids and 2 ex wives! YES! lol He said it wouldn't matter, because if anything happens with us, he's done. He says God put me here on this earth for him. To show him a different life, a path that leads up instead of towards destruction. To show him that true love is real and soulmates do exist. He never fails to make me smile. :)

So if you are an ex-wife with kids who actually accept and love their new stepmom, and you are classy, I salute you!!!!