Saturday, March 1, 2008

Why I love you

9K this is for you.

My dearest son,
You recently asked me how it was different because Dad was adopted and I explained to you that it was a lot like our relationship. I didn't birth you, heck, I didn't even know you the first 7 years of your life. But now? We are family, and I love you just as much as if I had done both those things. I love you because you run up and hug me in front of your friends. I love you because you challenge me. I love you because you look at me and just smile. I love you because when you heard me tease your dad that I would kill him if he cheated on me, you opted in that you would kill him too. I love that you get me and my sense of humor. I love that you never let an hour pass without reminding me that you love me. I love that you sing alicia keyes and sean kingston outloud in the car, especially alicia keyes. I love that you ask me if a random band or artist 'loves the Lord' because they say his name in their songs. I love that you care about things like that, and you love your Lord God above all others. I love that you want to be physically near me at an age most boys are starting to push away a little bit. I love that you watch out for me, and I know you would stick up for me if you thought someone would hurt me. You're such a protective soul just like your dad. I even love that you're making it hard for me to write this because you want to sit next me. :) I love that you want every thing explained to you because you want to understand even if makes you mad. I love it when you cook with me in the kitchen. You made me smile this morning when you thought I was still sleeping because you told your dad you wanted to make earrings for me out of your broken necklace that you loved so much. I laid there and just smiled and felt like my heart would explode inside my chest. I love that as I'm writing this there are tears in my eyes because I never knew I could love a child that wasn't biologically mine this much. In the car today you said I love you and I said I love you more and you told me that was impossible. I love cheering for you at your soccer games and that you don't mind I call you baby. I love that when I say I haven't gotten my hugs and kisses yet today you wrap your arms around me and let me kiss your cheek. I love that when I was in your class observing, everyone called me your mom and you didn't correct them. I love that in your penpal letter you called me mom and now and then you call out mom when you need me. Because I am. I will always be a mom to you. I will always love you as my son. I will consider your children my grandchildren. I don't care if people think that's weird or that I'm 'taking you away' from your biological mother because I'm not. I've never asked you to love me more, or told you what you can and cannot call me. I've always let you come to me. And you've choosen to come. I will forever be thankful for that. I love that you try to think of my feelings, and care how I'm doing. I love when you ask me questions. I love that you look up to me because I'm in college and you want to work really hard in school to go to college too. I love that you want to go everywhere with me. I'm so proud of you honey, you mean the world to me and I couldn't have asked God to bring a better son into my life. I love that you ask when I'm going to have a baby at least once a week. I'm so glad you see that as a good thing. You never fail to make me smile and laugh every day I spend with you. You are so handsome and smart, just like your dad, and I can't help but beam every time I think about what a wonderful man you're going to be someday. I love you more than life itself and always will...

Always and forever,
mom, K, ya know that lady you live with ;)

5 comments:

Day said...

Ok, I'm crying now... That was so sweet. You should hold on to that and give him a hand written copy when he graduates. He is a very blessed boy to have such a great mom in you.

MiChelly said...

that was very special. Very special indeed.

The StepMom said...

Sweet. Very sweet.

You voiced your love so well that I could feel how much you love 9k.
Truly a blessing.

Stephanie said...

What an amazing letter to him. I hope you share this with him soon and that you also put it away, in a hope chest or something, so he can read it again when he's grown with kids of his own.

I know it would mean a lot to him now. I know it would mean the world to him later.

You have a big heart, K!

Alice Nelson (Playgroundropout) said...

Loved it. I'm crying. SO beautiful