Harsh and Confusing

I met with a woman from my church the other night and although I told everyone it went fantastic, and parts of it really did, I felt more confused than at ease by the end of our meeting. Let's call her Rachel, because she reminds me of someone named Rachel. First of all, Rachel has had a really hard life, and I feel for her, I totally do. She was abused emotionally as a child, married a man whose sole occupation in life was to cater to his son and only after really coming to know God and 2 years of hell did things start to turn around. She is terrified of having her own children which makes me sad because she would be a wonderful mom. She is really a great person, with good intentions and an open heart. There were just a few things said that made me look closer afterwards and think if those things were about me, or about her. I ranted mostly about 10K and how hard things are, how C and I have a hard time staying on the same page, the fits 10K throws and the resentment I'm trying to buffer against. I explained that C and I want to have a baby and she said we shouldn't because we weren't on the same page with 10K. Now, I do understand this because how are we going to raise another child when we can't even agree how to raise the one already living in our house! I totally think that same-page-ness is important, and C and I have both sat down and decided this will be an ongoing conversation and we will work hard at it. After she said that, she went on to say how perhaps I should look at like This is the family God gave me and I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it...I mentally shook my head and raised an eyebrow. I understand that I made a covenant. I do. I don't want out of my marriage! Rachel told me about a friend who was leaving her horrible loveless marriage and how she was mad at Rachel for telling her she should stay. Now, don't get me wrong, because I am a Christian and I do believe marriage should be forever, but I also believe there are very legitimate reasons to leave a marriage. Your husband beats you? Stay! Uh, no. He cheats on you constantly? Stay! Uh, no. You've tried everything from marriage counseling to shock therapy and nothing has worked? Stay Anyways! Uh...NO. I tried to tell her about my blog and said that most of the women are Christian and she said that was so good because non-Christians will constantly be telling me to get out of my marriage. What? Most of my real-life friends aren't Christians and NOT ONCE has anyone ever told me to get out. Rachel made me feel like I was asking for a divorce, that I was looking for a way out. Which isn't what I was doing at all! I just wanted advice on how to be a better communicator and deal with 10K. So after we talked I drove home, and the whole way I was confused. I was really clear about not wanting to end my marriage, (I even said those words!) I also was clear that we ARE going to have a child. I know we have to work on being on the same page and straightening out 10K, but I'm not going to just sit back and go, oh I made my bed I guess I should sleep in it and be miserable. Yech. So I am taking what I can of the conversation and using it and discarding the rest. Also I've been letting C handle all things 10K and stepping wayyyyy back. :) Be proud. It's hard.