About 2 weeks before C asked me to marry him he had a serious conversation with his 9 year old boy about it. They were sitting in the spa and I was swimming in the pool with the girls. I was sooooo nervous because every now and then I heard my name and I knew they were talking about me I just didn't know what. I was sure he was saying how much he hated me, because for the longest time the girls have said, "I love you K!" and I tell them I love them too, but 9K never really wanted hugs or that kind of attention from me, which of course I respected and just let it be.
I went to talk to C after their chat, and he started crying and I was about to throw up and leave but then he tells me through his tears that he is just sooo happy because his oldest, his son, his little man just told him that he loves me and thinks that if we got married that would be great. C doesn't cry very often. I've only seen it maybe 3 times in the past year. It was very touching, and almost made my heart burst with happiness that 9K actually loves me. Since then 9K has made a point of telling me he loves me, and seeking out physical attention from me. I think maybe before that talk he didn't think it was okay by his dad to do that, or that it was 'wussy' and 'girly'. (He is SUCH a boy. 110% B-O-Y) But whatever it was he thought, it changed that night. It makes my heart skip a beat every time he says he loves me, because I know that isn't a sentiment he shares lightly. He is a lot like his dad in that respect. His emotions are under lock and key. The girls are so cuddly and sweet, they just warmed up right away and within a few months were telling me they loved me. I just never knew what to do with 9K, so I just let him take his own path with me. I never wanted to push emotions on him because that just doesn't work with kids. It backfires on you. It's been a long year, but I'm so glad I chose that path of letting him get to know me and discern for himself his feelings for me. It has made us close. C said it's amazing for him to see that 9K loves me like he does.
It amazes me too.
-Happily in love with the most wonderful 4 people that have ever chanced their ways into my life.
3 comments:
Congratulations. That is a huge and such a wonderful way to start off. When do you officially become a stepmom?
Izzy Rose at stepmothersmilk
We have decided on a long engagement...June 7th of next year. 06-07-08 we thought that was kinda cool. :) Thank you so much for your comment!! (This is the first congrats I've got on being a new step mom!)
oh wow...that post brought tears to my eyes. I also have 3 (soon-to-be) stepkids, and the only one to have told me that they love me is the 5 year old (Jan). I've often wondered if its awkward for the other kids to hear their little sister tell me that. I suppose time will tell....but wow....loved that post!
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